Four Steps to a Home Pole Practice that Feels Amazing

In this episode of Science of Slink, host Dr. Rosy Boa addresses home pole dancers who wish their home pole time felt better. She provides evidence-based tips and tricks to enhance enjoyment and reduce friction for pole practice. Dr. Boa emphasizes the importance of removing physical and psychological barriers, embracing imperfection, injecting more pleasure into pole sessions, and being realistic about personal capacity and values. She also discusses the upcoming 5-day evidence-based pole reset program beginning January 12, 2026, designed to help pole dancers reflect and improve their practice. The episode concludes with a reminder of the importance of balancing pole dance with other life priorities.

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to the Science of Slink Podcast

00:49 Introduction to the Five-Day Pole Reset

02:00 Tips to Enhance Your Home Pole Experience

02:13 Removing Friction: Making Pole Time Easier

07:44 Embrace Imperfection: Do It Badly

11:32 Incorporate Pleasure into Your Practice

18:29 Understanding Your Capacity and Priorities

23:38 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Citations/Further reading:

Beshears J, Kosowsky H. Nudging: Progress to date and future directions. Organ Behav Hum Decis Process. 2020 Nov;161(Suppl):3-19. doi: 10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.09.001. Epub 2020 Dec 10. PMID: 33716395; PMCID: PMC7946162.

Lurquin, J. H., & Miyake, A. (2017). Challenges to ego-depletion research go beyond the replication crisis: A need for tackling the conceptual crisis. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, Article 568. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00568

Crocker J, Olivier MA, Nuer N. Self-Image Goals and Compassionate Goals: Costs and Benefits. Self Identity. 2009 Apr 16;8(2-3):251-269. doi: 10.1080/15298860802505160. PMID: 21218194; PMCID: PMC3017354.

Irwin, B.C., Scorniaenchi, J., Kerr, N.L. et al. Aerobic Exercise Is Promoted when Individual Performance Affects the Group: A Test of the Kohler Motivation Gain Effect. ann. behav. med. 44, 151–159 (2012). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-012-9367-4 

Decker, E. S., & Ekkekakis, P. (2017). More efficient, perhaps, but at what price? Pleasure and enjoyment responses to high-intensity interval exercise in low-active women with obesity. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 28, 1-10.

Ekkekakis, P. (2003). Pleasure and displeasure from the body: Perspectives from exercise. Cognition and emotion, 17(2), 213-239.

Hill, A. P., Mallinson-Howard, S. H., & Jowett, G. E. (2018). Multidimensional perfectionism in sport: A meta-analytical review. Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology, 7(3), 235.

Transcript: 

 Hello, welcome to Science of Slink, the Evidence-Based Pole podcast with me, your host, Dr. Rosy Boa. And today I'm really talking to home pole dancers who just wish their home pole time felt better. So maybe you've got a pole that's gathering dust and you're like, man, I wish I could just make more time to actually move. Or maybe you are making time to move and get some pole time in, but it just doesn't feel as good as you want it to, and you're trying to figure out ways to make it feel better. After all, this is your fun hobby that you do for fun. The primary thing that you get out of it should be enjoyment. And if that's just not there right now. Uh, hopefully I can give you some tips and tricks, some, some evidence-based, uh, suggestions to help you get to a place where your home pole feels better.

And I will say if you are listening to this right about the time it comes out. Uh, January 12th, 2026. We're gonna be starting together the five day evidence-based pole reset, there'll be a link down in the description.

And this is five days of. Gentle guided movement. Uh, every day there's gonna be a specific evidence-based action item for you to do. Uh, it should only take about three minutes. Everything's gonna be recorded. You can do it in your own time, but the goal is really for you to spend some time reflecting, really figure out what it is that you want out of your pole practice and how to get more of that. Because if we are home polers, we have a lot of control over what we do and how we do it.

But that comes with, you know, you gotta figure it all out. So, uh, our goal is going to be to figure it all out and then put it into practice and really start off the year building towards what's gonna feel best for us as home polers.

It's $10, you get access to it forever. So if you wanna come back and redo some of the guided movement that we do together or you want to revisit some of these exercises, you're definitely going to be welcome to do that.

But should be a great time. January 12th through 16 20 26. Link down there if you'd like to join us.

That aside, let's get into these tips. So I have four specific categories of things to make it easier for you to show up, make you, when you do show up, make it feel better. Uh, and we are going to get into them now in order the first thing that I would like for you to focus on is how you can remove friction, right? So, uh, what you can do to make it physically easier and psychologically easier to actually show up. So I will say. One of the things that comes up a lot when people start to talk about, you know, working out at home, uh, and you know, motivation is the ego depletion literature.

And maybe you've heard about this. So this is the idea that you have a limited amount of being able to make decisions in a day. Uh, and as you make more decisions, your brain gets tired and oh, it's just harder to do things. I will say that if you have not heard about this, it seems like a lot of the early findings from ego depletion are not replicable. It's been one of the central findings in the, the replication crisis in psychology. So I don't know that actually that that is the case necessarily. I think more compelling evidence is needed for me to, to agree that like, yeah, no ego depletion is real, but.

I will say that we all have limited time. We all have limited energy, we all have, a finite amount of capacity across a bunch of different axes. So anything that you can do to make the thing that you want to do easier is gonna help. And uh, one of the sort of areas of research that's looked at this is nudge theory. You can make subtle changes that make it easier for you or other people to do the thing that you want them to do. And just reduce the friction for the option that's the easiest.

From the research that has been done on Nudge Theory, we know that some of the things that are most effective are things that automate your decision making for you.

So, and I think there's obviously like, sort of like a dark marketing side to this, right? Where it's like we're gonna auto select like the most expensive option for you, uh, and we're gonna nudge you towards that. And that's maybe not like a great use of this, uh, but you can also use it to make your life better and make your pole time easier.

So one thing that I think can be really helpful for home polers is following along with someone else, right? So particularly for things like a warmup, right? I'm a pole teacher. I know how to warm myself up sometimes. I don't want to sit down and go through the whole thing, so I will put on, I actually have a warmup video on YouTube.

You can follow along. So I'll put on my own warmup video and follow it along so that I don't have to use up my brain, uh, on, on that, and I can use my brain for doing other things later on in my pole practice. Um, another thing that can make it, uh, easier is to put it on your calendar, right? So, a you know, you have time set aside, and b, you know that you're not gonna schedule things over it.

Uh, I think that can be a really, uh, really impactful and powerful way to help you make yourself time. And also when you're putting it on the calendar, like, yes, this is a thing that I'm prioritizing and this is when I am prioritizing it.

Caveat. This is only gonna work if you're a calendar person, right? I am a big calendar person. I calendar block pretty much all my time. I had been told by other people that my calendar makes them anxious. So if you're not a calendar person, disregard that tip.

Uh, another thing that you can do is you can remove other tasks. So something that I have noticed is for me particularly when it's cold, I don't wanna put on shorts.

I don't wanna change clothing. So something that's made it easier for me to show up for my own pole practice is I just. I'll pull in the clothes I'm wearing, right? If I, uh, you know, I've been wearing jeans, I'll just pull in jeans, whatever it is, you know, I've got my pajamas on. I'm just gonna do it in my pajamas.

Uh, so I'm removing that task of like, oh, to go pull, I have to change into specific clothes. If I tell myself, no, I don't actually have to, that I can pull in whatever I'm wearing, uh, that makes it easier for me to show up 'cause I'm reducing the friction.

Another thing is, uh, you know, a lot of times you pull, you get sweaty and then you gotta shower. Ugh. And if you know some, you're someone for whom showering is particularly taxing, uh, which I know, you know, and then you gotta shower. So something that can make it easier to reduce that friction is okay. I am scheduling my pull time. I'm gonna do it right before I was gonna shower anyway. So, uh, I am an evening showerer, so for me, if I schedule my pull time closer to my evening shower, uh, then I don't have to take an extra shower. It's just one less thing on my to-do list. Uh, and it just makes it easier for me to show up to be like, okay, I'm reducing that friction of like, okay, one extra shower by putting it right before the time when I'm gonna shower anyway.

Right? Just reducing friction, making it a little easier.

Another thing that I have found to be really powerful is. Choosing not to film myself, right? So, I mean, I, it's part of my job. I gotta film myself sometimes to make content, so I have to do it sometimes. But, you know, it's another step, right?

Oh, okay, I gotta set up my lighting. I gotta make sure my, I got camera memory right? I, I gotta set up the shot, I gotta check the angles, all that stuff. And if I just, if I remove that aspect, it's one less thing for me to do. It makes it a little bit easier for me to show up and it makes it more likely that I'm gonna show up.

If you haven't listened to the episode I did with Sally Riddell, who is, uh, a dance researcher who looks at the effects of mirrors and images on dancer's, self-esteem and body image, you should definitely go back and, uh, and listen to that one. That was a really fantastic interview on, on a really interesting body of research. I'd recommended. It.

So removing friction and those are some of my recommendations. You know, there might be other things that work for you. Uh, maybe putting the pole in a place where you want to be can be helpful. Um, there are some really wonderful pole dancers who just have their pole set up in their kitchen which I think is fantastic 'cause that's, you know, sort of the center of a lot of houses anyway.

So, uh, it is a place that's easy to be. Um. So whatever, whatever works for you, whatever reduces friction, whatever makes it easier to actually move towards doing pole time, I think can be really powerful. So that's step one. Remove fiction.

Step two, and this one goes out in particular to my perfectionists, is to do it badly and.

Oh, there's a couple reasons for this. So one is, it is intentionally. I want you to reduce your, your tendency towards perfectionism, if that's something that you struggle with. We know from the research on perfectionism, it does not lead to better outcomes, right? Uh, punishing yourself, holding yourself up to some unattainable idea.

Um. Doesn't make you a better dancer, uh, doesn't make you a better athlete. What it does make you is more miserable. Uh, really the only effect that first Actionism has on near long-term outcome is worse mental health. Uh, and that's pretty robust across the literature. It's a problem. Uh, so. If you can change the goal, right, and be like, I'm going to do a bad job on purpose and be okay with it.

I think that that can be a really powerful tool. Uh, I actually have, particularly in the winter, it's really hard for me to make time for my personal pull. And so I've made it an explicit goal for myself. Uh, I want three bad pole sessions a week not a week, a month, uh, right. Like I want three.

They just kind of suck. Like I show up, I do some stuff, maybe I get as warm as I need to be. Maybe I don't, maybe I don't even take my pants off, right? I, I do not have to be good. I just have to show up. And if I show up and I have a great pole session, guess I gotta do another one so I can get one of my bad pole sessions in.

Um, and that's been really powerful for me as someone who struggles with perfectionism to be like, no, I, I want to do a bad job

And the thing is, it's much easier to do a bad job than a good job. Uh, so you're building self-efficacy, you're building your sense that you can do this. And I think. And we know from the research that self-efficacy and building self-efficacy, particularly when you're trying to build a habit, particularly when you're trying to work towards a goal, is one of the single most important things in making sure that you keep showing up and doing it.

'cause if you are getting into a mind place, you're like, I can't do any of the things I want to do because I have, you know, these very lofty goals. That's going to sort of wear down your sense of being able to do it and it just makes you less likely to show up. But I think everyone can show up and, and noodle around for a couple minutes and be like I did it, one shitty pole session completed.

Also I would recommend speaking of doing it badly, especially if you're a person who has a history of really pushing yourself physically, uh, I would encourage you to do things with lower intensity. So we know that medium intensity exercise is generally more enjoyable than high intensity exercise.

Duh. I mean, that's a research finding, but also like, uh, I, I don't wanna be doing burpees, man. They're, they're rough. But if you are doing things that are a lower demand on your body, you're try likely to find them more enjoyable, particularly as you're getting back into, uh, exercise or starting an exercise program and you're more likely to show up.

So, uh, and I would say, showing up twice and sort of half-assing. It is better than showing up one and pushing once and pushing yourself really hard, right? As a personal trainer, as a fitness professional, I would rather that you did more, less strenuous sessions than a fewer, more strenuous sessions, particularly because, especially in Pole, we know that, uh, big jumps in Strenuousness and then not giving your body repeated exposure so that it adapts is kind associated with, uh, injury.

Um, uh, Stephanie Greenspan's done some work on, on circus injuries and like retreats and intensivess is really when people tend to hurt themselves. So keeping that in mind. So do it badly, right? Do it badly on purpose. Kill the perfection in you to the great degree that you can do it. Uh, you know, lower intensity, do a short session, right?

I, I used to feel like, well, if I'm not doing at full hour, it doesn't even, why would I even bother? And these days, you know, again, I'm trying to get them bad pole sessions in. I'll do two songs of movement and I have touched the pole. Check. I've done my bad pole session. I'm great. I can move on.

Now we get to, uh, a fun one, which is to incorporate more pleasure into your practice. Uh, and I know this is something that, uh, if y'all know Crimson Minx, uh, definitely something that, that she espouses as well. But we, again, we know from the research, if things are physically pleasurable, you're more likely to do them right.

That's part of what pleasure systems are for. They are to, to encourage behaviors that are important for you as an organism. And there's lots of things that you can do to make home pole nicer, right?

So a big one is controlling your temperature in a space, right? So setting up a fan if you get hot, setting up a space, uh, heater if you get cold maybe, you know, trying to preheat the room so that you are, you are more comfortable making the temperature is comfortable as possible.

Dehumidifying, if it's super humid, humidifying, if it's super, um, super dry. So really trying to create an environment that's more comfortable for yourself.

Also, I really like to incorporate things that feel good, like texture wise. Uh, so especially when it's cold, I will often start my personal dance on a cozy blanket, something that's very soft and nice to touch. So that I, I have like a nice thing to feel. Maybe you are someone who really likes, uh, sort of silky textures. Incorporating something like a, you know, a silk bed sheet into your dance can be really lovely and give you some, some sensory play and enjoyment.

Also if there's textures you hate don't do them right. Uh, so you know, if you know that you hate microfiber and you don't like touching it, and it's like a sensory ick for you don't use microfiber cloth. Wipe down your pole, remove the unpleasant, uh, sensory experiences to the greatest degree possible.

Um, if you enjoy scents, and if you're not sensitive to scents, maybe that's something you add in. Maybe you light a candle that smells good, maybe you find a room spray. Uh, maybe you have, you know, flowers or for a while, uh, when they, when they were fresh, I had Osage oranges, which are a. Uh, it's a, it's an American tree and it has like these sort of big green, bumpy things, uh, and they smell nice. They, it's kind of citrusy, kind of woody. Um, but I had a couple in my dance room and they just, they made it smell nice and it was nice to be in there. So, if you can incorporate some sort of scent oral factory sensory thing, definitely do that.

Wear clothes you enjoy wearing. Again, if you're like, I hate tags. Wear clothes without tags, cut the tags out. No one's gonna, no one's gonna, uh, yell at you for cutting the tags out of your clothes. Right? Make your clothing experience as nice as possible. Find clothes that fit, if your clothes have, you know, need mending, you know, spend some time doing some mending so that, so that you have clothes, that you really feel nice when you have on your body. Whatever that looks like for you.

Uh, and also bring in auditory things that you enjoy. Play music you like. Uh, if you like loud music, maybe you get a speaker so you can crank up the music a little bit. If you don't like loud music, turn the music down. It's allowed to be softer, right? You set it at a, at a place which is really pleasant for you, and try to make your pole space and your pole experience and your sensory experience as nice as possible and as tuned to your preferences as possible.

Because the nice thing about home pole is it. It's your pole space, so you get to change things and you are not at, at to the whim of, uh, you know, whatever the, the studio policies are for wherever you're going in. So take advantage of it.

And on that note, also try to do it with other people. Um, so this is, again, very strong finding from, from the sports science and uh, sports psychology literature that exercising with other people makes it much more likely that you're gonna continue to show up. Um. If you wanted to exercise other people online I teach online pole classes and, uh, freestyle classes and conditioning classes and you, you don't need pole for the freestyle and conditioning classes, but you know, if you wanna do it, you know, you can come join us. We a fun group.

Adding in that social component is really, really powerful. And having that sense of community, um, does make it more likely that you're gonna show up and in general seems to improve enjoyment of exercise as well.

And it can also be helpful to think about what your relationship to the community that you are dancing with is. So Jennifer Crocker at Ohio State has uh, done a lot of research on goals and, you know, if you are entering into a, a social environment, uh, are your goals too.

Make yourself look good and try and control the way that other people see it, or are your goals about trying to be part of this social group? You know, and, and improve the ecosystem as opposed to the ego system is the, uh, the terminology that she uses.

Uh, and in general, people who have compassionate goals, right? Where your focus on being in a group is really, you know, being a good member of the group, connecting with people. Tend to have much greater enjoyment just in their day to day lives. And the more that you can can focus on that, what does it mean to be in this group? How is my pole dancing positively affecting people around me as opposed to how is my pole dancing, making me appear to other people is in general just sort of better for your mental health.

If I'm showing up and I'm supporting people, uh, that's gonna make me feel better. That's gonna make it more likely that I want to show up and I'm gonna have a more pleasurable experience. So, definitely something to think about.

Also important about making it fun. If you can do the things that you like, if you hate a pole trick, you never have to train it. There is nothing in pole that you have to do to be a poler or be legitimate or be good, right? If you're like, Rosy, I hate inverting, I hate working on inverts. I don't really, you know, I don't want to do it.

You don't have to do it. I think a great example of this is, uh, Superman. Lots of people don't like Superman. It's painful, especially if you have, larger thighs. It's really challenging to get into the position. And enough people hate it that I just straight up do not teach it unless someone specifically requests that I do. I've just removed it from my curriculum because. It's not fun for most people in my experience. And you don't have to, right? You can say no to anything. Uh, and if you know ev anyone ever gives you crap about it, you can be like, Rosy told me I could, I'll take the heat.

Yeah, you love spins, do spins. You hate spin pole? Keep your pole on static. There's, again, there's nothing you have to do in pole. This is your fun enjoyment activity that you are doing to feel good and have a nice time, and you are absolutely allowed to be like, I don't feel good when I do that. That is not a nice time for me. And just don't do it.

Fuck it. You're an adult. You do what you want, man.

All right. And then finally number four. So we've talked about removing friction, making it easy as possible for yourself to show up. We talked about giving yourself permission to do it badly, and in fact, trying to do it badly to help you get over perfectionism and just make it easier to show up.

Uh, we talked about making it fun, making it enjoyable, focusing on having a nice time while you're doing it, uh, making your, your environment nice. Uh, focusing on the fun, social connection aspect of it. Not doing things you don't like to do, you're allowed to do that. I don't know if anyone's ever told you that. I'm telling you night now.

And finally. I think it's important to get very real about your capacity. And this is something that I personally really struggle with because I want to do everything and I wanna do it as good as possible. Uh, and I really wanna push myself, but I don't have infinite capacity.

Um, and in fact, a lot of us don't have infinite capacity. Your capacity will change over your lifetime. Your capacity will change day to day, months to month. And that is not a bad thing. That is not a weakness, that is not something that you need to feel bad about. That is just a true fact of being human.

And if you try to ignore that, you are gonna burn yourself out. Ask me how I know. The worst thing is you would think that I would've learned the first time that I burned myself out about that. And I'm, I got better about it, about the second time I burned myself out.

But also it takes, and I'm so sorry to tell you this, years to recover from burnout and you may never get back to where you were ever. And that is again just a fact of being human.

So with all that said. You gotta be real genuine about your capacity, and I think a big part of that is figuring out what are your values? What do you care about most? And I'm gonna be so honest with you right now I hope to God your answer to that question is not pole dance. I really genuinely do not want pole to be the single most important thing in your life, right? I hope you have relationships that you care about more. I hope you have, you know, things in your wider community that you care about more.

Right. I, I don't want pole to be the number one thing in your life. Uh, and if it is right now, maybe it's not gonna be that way forever.

And that said, you are gonna choose other things over pole and you should do that. That is normal and healthy. So a great example for me. I have a, a gaming group that meets every Tuesday we meet online.

They're wonderful people. Uh, I love them so much, and I am not going to choose taking a pole class over, hanging out with my good friends, uh, which is a thing that really brings me joy and satisfaction and is really important to me and is more important to me than getting in one more workout. And if you are in a position where you're like, no, no, I have to get in one more workout rather than do something, deeply fulfilling and important to me and my life and my wellbeing. Uh, at that point, I would say definitely talk to a mental health professional. Exercise addiction is a real thing and it may be negatively affecting you.

So with all that said, what are your priorities, right? If you want to add more pole in your life, what is less important to you to pull that you wanna take out? Maybe you're spending a lot of time on your phone, maybe you're spending a lot of time on social media, and if you look at your values, you're like, no, actually, you know, moving my body and hanging out with friends and having a nice time is more important to me than social media.

So I'm going to try and actively change my, my habits, my patterns, my routines. So I spend more time doing pole this fun thing that I like and less time doing, doom scrolling. So maybe that's a switch that you wanna make. You're gonna have to decide what's important to you and how you are going to reflect that in your day-to-day behavior.

You can't just add things, you have to also remove things. And I can't tell you what to add or move or shift around. That is gonna be a personal decision for you. And I just want you to have that in mind, right? I just want you to be thinking about, okay, is this more important to me than this other thing?

Is pole more important to me than spending time on the internet? Is, you know, spending time with my family more important to me than pole, which do I wanna spend more time doing? And how am I going to organize things so that I prioritize the things that are most important to me? And that's really where I'm spending my time and energy.

So that is the fourth thing to think about. We talked about removing friction, making it as easy as possible to show up for yourself. Just as a little sidebar here, a little self-promotion. I have memberships, two pole memberships, and they're designed by me to remove your friction as much as possible.

Completely automate your decision making. So once you sign up for the memberships, you get the links to join classes live. If you want, you get the, uh, recordings of classes so that you can do them whenever you want. Uh, it all happens automatically. I've done all the programming for you. Your rest weeks are built in your conditioning is built in.

If you're doing the essentials of Slink, uh, membership, it's just one hour of classes a week. If you're doing Science of Slink membership, it's everything I teach and you can pick and choose whatever you wanna do it's all designed to work together. Uh, but I've done all the work for you. So really all you have to do is, you know, open the zoom call or open the video and press play, and it's all taken care of for you. So that's one way to remove friction. If that is something that you're interested in, uh, you can find more information about that on the website.

Do it badly. Give yourself permission to do it badly.

Make it fun. Make it as pleasurable as possible. Make it as enjoyable as possible. You have complete permission to do that. If there's something you hate doing. Don't do it. This is your fun hobby. You do for fun. It should be enjoyableAnd also be very real about your capacity. Be real about your values. Be real about what you care most about. And, you know, check in is how you are spending your time reflecting that. Uh, and if not, what changes do you need to make so that it does. So four things to think about to make your home pole life really feel amazing, and I hope it does.

I hope this year is a wonderful home pole year for you.

And if you'd like to join us to do some more reflections, some more, in community. All right. Coming together. All right. Other people, just like I talked about the five day pole reset is going to be, uh, January 12th, 2026 if you're listening to this in the future. There's more information down there in the description, and I would love to have you join us if you're interested. Uh, or if you ever just wanna take a drop-in class, you can take my classes a la carte. If there's one that works for your schedule you get the recording you can join live.

You can do both and it would be great to have you.

But regardless, I hope that the year ahead for you is full of wonderful pole time that, uh, fits into your life, that supports you, that feels really, really good, and that you enjoy.

And that's all I got for you today. I can't wait to talk to you again in the next episode. 

Bye.